Church Anniversary and Pastor & Wife Appreciation Services

In November 2013 our church Grace & Truth Apostolic Ministries (GTAM) celebrated 14 years of Ministry. I am often asked why we celebrate our Anniversary the way we typically do (though this year for the first time in our history we did not have a formal celebration service) and why we do not have Pastor and Wife Appreciation services. So I thought I would take this Blog post and use it as an opportunity to answer both questions.

Church Anniversary Service

To some degree, celebrating key milestones and accomplishments are biblically supported. The Old Testament is filled with examples of Memorials erected to mark the place and remember the time when God did something memorable. Additionally, in Jewish culture feasts were established again to revisit and rehearse the exploits God performed or to celebrate what God has done.

In modern cultures, it is also usual and customary to celebrate key dates in individual’s lives and organizations history. Whether it’s birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc. we celebrate memorable events in our lives. Companies also celebrate employment anniversaries for their employees, remember and celebrate the date the company opened for business, etc. So it is appropriate that churches celebrate their anniversaries as well.

I have always aspired to be true to our vision and keep it top of mind in all that we do. In particular, it is important that we keep our focus on souls, both in our evangelistic efforts as well as our on-going ministry to them. This has carried over into the way we think about, plan and celebrate our church anniversary.

I strongly believe that the only reason God allows our ministry to continue to flourish is because of the souls that we add to the Kingdom and the growth they experience both naturally and spiritually. If we were ineffective in Ministry, I do not believe that God would waste His resources on us.

It is for this reason, that our Anniversary services are a celebration not of the Church or its history per se, but a celebration of the souls that were added through the Ministerial efforts of GTAM and their resulting growth. Additionally, it is an opportunity for us to use our deeply gifted ministry to creatively prepare an evangelistic opportunity that will attract new souls to the Kingdom and an atmosphere for continued spiritual as well as natural growth.

So while we readily acknowledge, though usually informally and very low key, the anniversary of GTAM and celebrate its accomplishments over the prior year, it is really more of a celebration of the souls. Admittedly, this is not the traditional approach to a church anniversary service, nor do we intend for it to be.

We also typically have short anniversary services consisting of a Friday night special event like a Play or Musical, that is free and open to the public. Sunday morning we may have a special guest speaker and acknowledge that years “Spirit of Excellence” Award winner, followed with a Sunday night service that has varied in form over the years. There are many creative and effective ways to present the gospel. We don’t typically have any other special presentations or awards, though one year we did a video collage highlighting the souls that were baptized, filled with the Holy Spirit and other meaningful Ministerial events and achievements for the year. We also don’t have any special pledges or offerings. We try to keep it streamlined, genuine (organic – new GTAM buzz word) and effective.

So far, this approached has been well received and seems to be fairly effective. It is very refreshing for all involved in the planning and delivery as well as for those who get to receive and enjoy the experience these services create.

Pastor and Wife Appreciation Services

The other question I am often faced with is why we do not have Pastor and Wife Appreciation services? In fact, we have never had an Appreciation service in our 14 year history. Let me share this up front, it is not because the congregation has not wanted to have an Appreciation service or couple our Anniversary service with an Appreciation service. It is because I have resisted this effort by the congregation to date. That is not to say that we will never have an Appreciation service, but for now I have continued to resist this effort.

So the real question is why have I resisted having an Appreciation service? Let me start by saying it is not because I think there is anything wrong with them. I have seen them done very tastefully and have participated in several well-conceived and executed Appreciation services. I do not begrudge any other Pastor who receives or fellowship that chooses to honor and celebrate their Pastor in this way. In fact, I applaud any fellowship that demonstrates appreciation, loyalty, faithfulness and sincere love to their Pastor in any way that their Pastor would receive and recognize it.

For me personally, however, there are a few reasons why I prefer not to have an Appreciation service in the traditional way.

The greatest appreciation anyone can show me as their Pastor is to live their life well. A life lived well is more precious to me than any words spoken or gift given. God has placed us in the lives of those that are a part of GTAM to look after their souls. My prayer is that they are excited to have us in their lives. Living their lives well, following the guidance we share, embrace and run with the vision and growing as people both naturally and spiritually is a great gesture of thanks and appreciation for all that we have already invested and plan to continuously invest in their lives.

To me, this is far more valuable than any gift we could get or check we could receive. What good would it be for us to receive a big check or get an expensive gift if the congregation (the giver of those gifts) isn’t there when they are needed or openly resisted the vision, did things their way without regard to how we wanted things done. Sure, the gifts and financial support are nice and we are open to receiving them, but they must always be accompanied with commitment, loyalty, dedication, faithfulness, personal growth, etc. These are the things that lead to a life lived well and to me that is the greatest appreciation I could ever receive.

My wife and I, though important to the health and vitality of the Ministry, are only 2 members of a team of people that make GTAM what it is. My ego is intact; I am fine if I do not get a lot of attention. In fact, I would prefer that people not make a big fuss over me. I am just a guy, no different than anyone else really.

I happened to be called to Pastor a congregation and am happy to serve in this capacity. There are others who are also called to serve the congregation, but they do so in a different capacity. Some serve in hospitality, others by caring for and instructing our children while their parents receive and participate in ministry. Yet others by caring for the affairs of the church and those that serve through the arts. We are all members of the same body and every member as important as the other. (I Corinthians 12)

If we are going to have an Appreciation I would prefer it be for our entire Leadership Team. So much attention and privilege naturally falls to the Pastor. I think it would be nice to recognize and show appreciation to others that make GTAM what it is who do not naturally receive recognition and appreciation. That is in part why we established the “Spirit of Excellence” award, to recognize those behind the scene unsung heroes of GTAM.

We also encourage our Sr. Leadership Team to find creative ways to recognize and show appreciation to the host of volunteers that so generously share their time, talents and resources with us. We hold Leadership Team Summits quarterly and try to do different things occasionally to show our appreciation for them. We should all be appreciated for what we bring to and do for GTAM that allows it to flourish. I would feel selfish being at the center of an appreciation service knowing it takes the effort of an entire team to make GTAM what it is.

Lastly, we are fortunate enough to live a fairly privileged life derived from the income I earn from my secular occupation. So, it is difficult for me to be publically showered with gifts knowing there are so many others who I delight to serve who do not live such privileged lives.

I have often wondered is this arrogance on my part? I certainly do not intend for it to be so. It’s not that I see myself as better than anyone else, just recognition that we have a very comfortable, though not opulent life style. I do not feel guilty about the life style we have been afforded to live. I have worked hard, made a lot of personal sacrifices and have been incredibly fortunate and favored by both God and man to be in the position we are in.

I would much rather see the resources that would be directed towards us, redirected towards others that are really trying, working hard and doing the best they can, but need a little help. Honestly, I would appreciate that more. It would delight me to see someone from GTAM materially helping someone else get ahead or overcome a setback. That would be an indication to me that they get it! They understand the heart that God has given me for His people. What greater gift of appreciation could I receive?

If our natural condition were different, perhaps I would have a slightly different view of things. That's why I’m not suggesting we will never have an appreciation service, you just never know what may happen or how things may change. But for now, I think I’m good with how things are.

For those that really feel compelled to do something for my wife and me personally to say thanks or show appreciation, I do not want to rob you of that opportunity either. We know first-hand how much joy we get from blessing those we love with something tangible that they would enjoy. It isn’t always money or big gifts, but we made it a point to learn our spiritual leadership and what they value and enjoy. Then we make it a point from time to time to do those things.

That opportunity is always there. But it can be done discreetly without the big display or presentation. Though it may be given in private, God will bless you openly for your heart.

So there you have it. I’d love to hear from you and your thoughts on this post.

Values vs. Value, which one is driving you?

Luke 12:34 NKJV

 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Whatever it is that we treasure or value, that is where we will commit our passion and our resources. What I wonder and hope to explore in this blog post is whether the church, institutionally and individually, has compromised its values in favor of value. In other words, have we gone silent or absent from the national discussion on things related to our core values, belief system, moral imperatives in favor of gaining greater financial relief, assistance or some perceived racial justice? Where is the heart of the church? To answer that, we must explore where the treasure of the church lies and what does it value.

To some extent, this will be a political discussion and exploration. And yes, I have my own personal political persuasion (Fiscal Moderate & Social Conservative in case you’re interested), but my objective is not to necessarily change or alter your own particular political affiliation. There is no perfect political party; they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Whether Republican, Democrat or Independent, it is incumbent upon us to understand what we value or treasure and the impact that has on our values and choices.

The Individual Church

Individuals make up the church. No different than individuals make up corporations, government, etc. It is easy for us sometimes to demonize organizations and institutions as corrupt, greedy, insensitive, etc. But the truth of the matter is that we are really being critical of the individuals that make up those organizations and institutions. So in this discussion on Values vs. Value, we will first take a look at individuals within the church community.

Keep in mind; depending on which statistics you look at, 50% to 80% of Americans consider themselves to be Christian. George Barna in his book “Grow Your Church from the Outside In” puts the number of American’s that believe in God at 95%! (The Barna Research Group in California does a really good job of compiling statistics, analyzing their results and suggesting balanced interpretations of the data.) You would expect, given such a high percentage of Christians, that most Americans would find things of moral relevance significant in their decision making, very similar to how Jesus determined His priorities. However, I’m not sure that recent political outcomes reflect this value system.

In the latest National elections held in November 2012, we voted to legalize the recreational use of behavior altering drugs (Marijuana) and same sex marriages in many states. We the people have historically voted to legalize the early termination of unwanted pregnancies (abortions) remove any reference to God from public buildings and outlawed prayer from public schools.

In exchange for what I believe/hope most Christians would agree are positions that Jesus would not advocate, we have been provided things like National Health Care (which I am not opposed to by the way), Tax reductions, the proverbial check in the mail signed by the federal government and paid for by working, tax paying citizens and the like. We have received financial gains in exchange for allowing social immoralities to flourish. What we have said, loud and clear, is that we treasure value more than values.

Generally speaking, the same people, politicians, political party that brought us the influx of social services, government spending increases, “help for the poor people”, also brought us abortions, same sex marriages, took prayer out of public schools, etc. What I don’t get is why are we so shocked when these social issues are passed into law?

It’s not like they bait and switched us. They told us up front, they were “Pro-Choice”, that they supported same sex marriages, that they were in favor of legalizing the recreational use of marijuana. In order to get tax breaks extended, expanded social services, higher taxes on the wealthy and lower taxes on everyone else, core values on social issues that should be important to Christians were compromised. We knew that going in, yet that is how we voted. We chose value over values. So why are we shocked and dismayed, this is how we voted.

It could be argued that there are no clear choices and that our vote for a candidate or political party does not reflect our full value system. I would agree. However, what do we use as a tie breaker? What do we put greater weight to in making these determinations? When we have to choose between our values and the value created by certain candidates who support undesirable social issues, what drives our voting decisions?

I have heard justifications for voting decisions supporting values over value ranging from racial motives wanting an African American President no matter what, to financial motives looking for help with their Home Mortgages, Student Loans, Welfare support etc. It’s not that the other moral or social considerations are not important, just that finally getting an African American President or financial support is more important. That’s where our treasure is located.

In Washington State, there were 2 major arguments I heard by Christians in support of the legalization of Marijuana and it further illustrates where our heart and treasures lie. One argument was that African Americans were disproportionately incarcerated because of Marijuana related crimes and that by legalizing its use, it would reduce the number of African Americans in jail. We treasure our racial affiliation. The second argument was that by legalizing the recreational use of Marijuana, it could be taxed and the revenue generated from the tax could help fund more government programs. We treasure our social services.

While this may not be true of all Christians, I believe it is a fair characterization that many Christians have placed value over values. We have placed as a higher priority in our lives things of material value over things of eternal value. I hope this blog post helps to bring this unpleasant reality to the forefront of our minds and causes us to do some introspection on our personal value systems and core beliefs. I pray that we are moved and driven by those values important to Christ and not value as is common to secular society. I’m not suggesting Christians have intentionally and certainly not maliciously intended to behave this way, but can’t help but wonder if that is the net result of our actions.

The Institutional Church

Organizations and institutions are an extension of their membership and leadership. Consequently, what we see in individual behavior we should expect to see in institutional behavior. I believe this is also true when we compare the institutional churches values vs. value, though perhaps evidenced in different ways.

Politically, the institutional church has been largely silenced in favor of preferential financial treatment. In exchange for a Tax free environment, the institutional church does not speak out against political parties or candidates and often does not take a formal position on many political issues. This, largely out of fear that if they do, they could jeopardize their tax-exempt status and subject their often incredibly large revenues (contributions made to the church) to various taxes. Again, choosing value over values.

In fact, just recently I saw a bumper sticker that read, “If religious groups want to involve themselves in political discussions, let them pay taxes.” This illustrates how many people believe the institutional church should behave; that we should remain silent on political issues and if we don’t we will have our tax exempt status revoked. Never mind the fact that the congregations of these churches pay taxes, the leadership of these churches pay taxes and that much of properly run and managed churches revenues go to support community needs. (In case you didn’t know it before, let me make it unambiguously clear now… I have no intentions of being silenced!)

However, this is just one area in which the institutional church may be compromising values in favor of value. So much of operating and managing a church resembles operating and managing any secular business venture. And in large part they are very similar. Businesses and churches need to generate enough revenues to cover their expenses or they will cease to exist. Both businesses and churches have to protect themselves from frivolous lawsuits and other forms of liability exposure. They each must provide a service deemed valuable to a customer base or risk not having enough business to remain viable. Businesses and churches do not function on their own, it takes talented staff to operate both and those staffs need to be fairly compensated. The church has an added benefit because of the wealth of talented individuals who lend their skills and abilities to the church through their volunteer efforts.

There is a key difference however, between the motivation of the church and that of secular businesses. This key difference is often forgotten or buried into the deep recesses of thought when many churches conduct their business. The motivation of the secular business is to generate a profit acceptable to it owners and/or shareholders. The motivation of the church is to minister the gospel and serve the community. For the church, financial resources are a means to an end, they help to facilitate ministry. In the secular business world financial resources are the end themselves, that’s why the company is in business. While many of the actions taken by the church and secular businesses are the same, their motivations are not. This is where we can see if the institutional church has compromised values for value.

For example, does the socio-economic status of individuals come into play when determining who has access to the church leadership, the level of influence in shaping church decisions, preferred seating and/or parking, etc.? I understand it takes financial resources to operate a church, but would you deny services offered by the church to those who cannot afford to pay for them? If you are not a tithe paying member of the church, can you get ministry from that church? Is the only way to get a book, copy of a message or bible study is to pay for it?

I’m not suggesting that people that can pay for these things shouldn’t. It takes financial resources to operate a church and everyone affiliated with their local church should do their part to help it operate with excellence. In fact, in the 1^st Century church established by the Apostles, everyone in that particular church community funded the gospel by contributing all of their worth to the cause. (Acts 2:44 – 45) Those who could contribute, but chose to try to withhold from contributing their fair share faced life threatening consequences. (Acts 5:1 – 11) You wouldn’t have a functioning church in our current society for very long if you didn’t have capable individuals supporting the church’s efforts with their financial resources.

However, we can get so caught up into value that we lose sight of values… so consumed with financing and funding ministry that we forget about ministry. Keep in mind, the reason for a church service on Sunday morning is not to raise money, it’s to minister the gospel and serve the community. When we dominate the service with offerings, fund raising, selling items, etc. we have compromised values for value. The conference is intended to bring ministry to those in attendance. And while it costs to put on the conference and attendees may have to pay to attend, the rate should be determined and driven by the costs to hold the conference and not by a desire to make a name for oneself or live the life of celebrity.

I am not opposed to wealth or wealthy people; I just don’t believe it is healthy for the individual or institutional church for that wealth to be gained on the backs of those you are called to serve. 1 million people giving a dollar is a lot different than expecting 1 thousand people to give 1 thousand dollars.

We Can Do Better

I believe individually and institutionally the church can do better. Individually, we can be diligent and conscientious about our choices, understanding that they provide insight into what we value. Sometimes, we may have to have a harder go of it materially in order to take a stronger stand on things socially. While it may not be on the top of any of our lists of most enjoyable things to do, if it becomes necessary to make adjustments to our lifestyle or standard of living to support issues Christ would support, then so be it!

We cannot look to our political or governmental elected officials as saviors. Yes, we have a responsibility to vote and select the candidates who best represents our total interests. No, there will never be a candidate that represents all of our interests equally or well. However, when at a crossroads values should trump value in our selection.

In the meantime, our efforts should be to actively address the social and economic issues that plague our community. But we should address them in a manner that will not compromise our values. We will not have to worry about a disproportionate number of African Americans being incarcerated for drugs or any other crime for that matter if we are effective in addressing what lies at the core of African American criminal behavior. Passionately and skillfully addressing things like single parent homes, dysfunctional dual parent homes, the proliferation of alcoholism and drug addiction, the sexualization of women, education support, etc. (Coincidentally, this is true beyond the African American community)

If we eliminate the drug customer, the drug dealer will go out of business and all of the ills associated with them. If we can address the issues that cause people to want to escape reality or cope with the harshness of life through drugs and alcohol, we will not have to worry about the legalization of recreational marijuana use. If we can effectively combat unwed pregnancies & sexual promiscuity, promote personal responsibility and accountability abortion laws will not matter because there will be no one seeking abortions.

Prostitution would not be a viable source of income if there were no John’s patrolling the streets looking to pay for their sexual gratifications. If we can positively influence men to control their impulses, view women as more than objects to fulfill their sexual appetites, we wouldn’t have an issue with prostitution. If we could help these desperate women extract the value invested in them by their creator, they would find alternative sources of income and eliminate the supply of willing participants for the John’s advances. Again, this would eliminate or at least reduce the challenges communities face with prostitution.

I understand that much of this may sound idealistic and admittedly it probably is. But that is the genesis of radical societal change. There must be an idea so profoundly different than what the current norm is, that its adoption results in prolific change. This is where our heart and treasure should be. This is what we should value. Putting our financial and human resources, our talents and abilities, our passion and desires towards those immaterial elements of life that reflect the values so passionately pursed by Christ. We can do better individually and institutionally.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Values vs. Value, which one is driving you?

God Doesn't Say Oops!

God doesn’t say oops… He doesn’t make mistakes. While many may say they understand and agree with the premise of this statement, most do not live as though they do. It’s as if we believe He is perfect in everything He does or did with the noticeable exception of how He created us! When it comes to us, many behave as if God said oops or made a mistake somehow, even if they do not intend to do so or consciously decide to think or act in such a way. Before getting too far into this, I will try to build the case that God doesn’t make mistakes.

God is said to be sovereign, meaning His rule and authority is unquestionable. If we believe this is the case, doesn’t it make sense that God could not make a mistake or say oops since whatever He decided to do or create would be unquestionably right? God is said to be omnipotent, meaning all powerful. If we believe this is the case, doesn’t it make sense that if God did somehow make a mistake or say oops He would correct it and thus eliminate the mistake? God is said to be omniscient, meaning all knowing. If we believe this is the case, doesn’t it make sense that if God did somehow make a mistake or say oops, He would know it before it was created and correct it before it was created and thus eliminate the mistake?

In Psalms 139:14 David recognizes that he is fearfully and wonderfully made and that he is the marvelous result of God’s handiwork. David comes to this understanding about himself in spite of his many failures, shortcomings, physical limitations and blemishes. Everything that God created, including humanity, He said was good or very good. (Genesis chapters 1 & 2) He did not rest from His creative efforts until all that He created lived up to His exacting standards and defined specifications. Simply put God doesn’t make mistakes and He didn’t say oops after He created us!

Recognizing that we are just what God had in mind when He allowed us to be conceived should be empowering to us! It should position us mentally, emotionally and Spiritually to achieve all that we were created to achieve, without excuse or apology. One of my favorite versus of scripture is found in Jeremiah 29:11 where God reassures Jeremiah that his life was on purpose and with an intended end.

“For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (KJV)

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

Because we experience hardship in our lives and even fail from time to time, does not diminish in any way the thoughts that God has for our lives, nor does it have to alter our expected ends! God was aware of every misstep we were going to take before we were formed in our Mothers belly. Yet, He still chose to give each of our lives value, purpose and meaning.

So with this understanding, we should stop making excuses for why we are not achieving and excelling in life. We have everything we need to accomplish the great things we were created to accomplish. My High School basketball coach Harvey Kitani had a saying that used to make us all laugh at the time, but now I get it! He would say “If you’re going to sit on the toilet, do something! Don’t just sit there and blow farts all day!” Of course you can see why we laughed uncontrollably as a group of inner city 16 – 18 year olds. But now, I get it. Do something with your life and the time you’ve been given, don’t sit around making noise, creating excuses, but in the end not really doing anything.

Look, some of us don’t have the greatest set of circumstances surrounding our nativity. There are many of us who were conceived in less than desirable conditions. I’m not just talking about natural conditions and surroundings. Some of us are the products of rape, fornication, adultery, etc. Many of these individuals carry around the stigma and shame of their conception circumstances and are often too embarrassed to speak openly or share with others their family history for this reason.

Truthfully, it doesn’t matter what the circumstances are surrounding your conception, who your mother and father are or even if you know them! What does matter is that God knew the circumstances surrounding your conception and still declared of you that your life was on purpose and going to serve a purpose. It was not a mistake that you were conceived, no matter what your parents or other may have told you… God never told you that!

Who told you that you were naked? God never told you that, just as He never told Adam and Eve they were naked in the garden. God doesn’t see us the same way others may see us. Others see us and declare we are naked or a mistake. God sees the same thing and does not see nakedness or a mistake, He sees the beauty in what He created…and so should we!

So what’s the moral of this story? God doesn’t make mistakes… He didn’t say oops when He created you…so do something meaningful and productive with your life. Go out and achieve your goals and dreams and fulfill the purpose God had in mind before you were a twinkle in your daddy’s eye!

One more point I’d like to make before wrapping up this blog post…since God doesn’t make mistakes or say oops when He creates us, we need to stop making changes to what God created. How do you improve upon something that is already just the way it should be? You can’t! The moment you start messing with it is the moment you start messing it up.

I believe we were fashioned to look just the way God wants us to look. I am a strong advocate of keeping things pretty natural. I’m not a big fan of things artificial or altering natural things, especially when it comes to our bodies. Every time we make modifications or incorporate artificial things to our bodies, we are in essence telling God “I don’t like what you created, so I’m going to change it into something I like”. Or “What you made wasn’t good enough, so I’m going to fix it and make it better”.

I know for some, we probably have never looked at it quite this way, but that is essentially what we are doing and it’s an insult to God. Let me give you an example. I am a bit of a steak snob…yes, I’ll admit it…I love a well prepared steak, and only order steak from the best restaurants or cook them myself at home. When I go to a steak restaurant, I order my steak, usually a USDA Prime Rib Eye cooked Medium +. Once the steak hits my table, I will eat it as it is served, because that was the way the Chef intended for it to be consumed. If I were to add anything to the steak, I am saying to the Chef “You did not prepare it to my liking” or “The way you prepared my steak is not very good”.

The Chef started out with the very best cut of steak available. Seasoned it the way they thought would bring out the best flavors of the steak. Cooked it to perfection and then served it to their guests for their enjoyment. Add extra salt…ruined it! Add steak sauce…God forbid! Anything you do to the steak after it has been served to you changes it from what the Chefs original intent was. Now, don’t blame the Chef if the steak is nasty after everything you did to it after it was brought to you! That was your doings, not the Chefs!

I hope you can see the parallel in this example. God started out with the very best He could get His hands on…YOU! Seasoned you through all of your life’s experiences. Cooked you to perfection by allowing you to go through just enough for just the right amount of time… not too long so that you would become tough or too little where you would be overly sensitive and raw. God is a master Chef and knows exactly how to prepare our lives and to present us faultless before His presence with exceeding joy! (Jude 24) All we have to do is leave it alone and not mess up what God is creating. No need to add or take away from our bodies, alter or modify what God has blessed us to have, etc.

We should do what we can to take care of our bodies, showing an appropriate level of respect and appreciation for Gods handiwork. Imagine having a fine, rare and expensive piece of art that you have just laying around in the garage getting dusty and damaged. That doesn’t show an appropriate level of respect for the work of art nor for the artist that created it. Not to mention the damage being done to something that should be preserved and cared for.

This is how we should look at our bodies. They are fine, rare and precious gems that should be preserved and cared for. The Bible puts it this way:

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
I Corinthians 6:19 – 20 (NIV)

We honor God with our bodies by taking care of them. Eat right, exercise; keep yourselves clean and well groomed. Don’t subject your bodies to things that will do them harm. Drugs, excessive alcohol, violence are all examples of things we should look to protect our bodies from.

We were created in the image of God; can you think of a better image to be modeled after? We show God that we respect the image He created for us by not tampering with that image or trying to put on a different image or face. If someone can look at you and readily tell something about you or on you is not natural, you should rethink if that is the image God intended for you. If God wanted you to have blue, green, hazel, red or whatever color eyes, that’s what He would have allowed you to be born with. I know some may think this is old school. I just believe we should respect what God created.

So, where do we go from here? No need to dwell on the past and what you did to your body in the past… that ship has sailed. All you can do is move forward from here and determine to not allow yourself to be subject to those things any longer and commit to taking care of the body God gave you. Remember, God doesn’t make mistakes, He doesn’t say oops… and He didn’t make a mistake with YOU or say oops when He created YOU to be who and what you are. Live free, without the pressure to have to live up to a false image imposed upon you by friends, family and society. Be the YOU, God had in mind for YOU when He said of YOU I know the thoughts that I think towards YOU… God didn't say oops with YOU!

Response to Alaska Airlines Executives re: Removal of Prayer Cards

Dear Mr. Ayer and Mr. Tilden,

I have been a long time and loyal customer of Alaska Airlines since 1995 (Mileage Plan # XXXX1980). I am certainly not your longest tenured customer nor greatest frequent flier by any stretch, but have enough experience with Alaska Airlines to comment credibly on the change announced below. (Currently greater than 460,000 lifetime miles on Alaska Airlines) It is my hope that my comments are received by each of you for your contemplation, though I do not anticipate at this point a change in your decision will be made. I can appreciate the amount of time and thoughtful consideration each of you along with your staffs placed into making this decision. I am confident many hours of discussion, data gathering and analysis, consultative input received and the like contributed to the outcome shared in your note below.

I cannot imagine there was a purely economic driver which compelled Alaska Airlines to discontinue distributing the prayer cards as you call them. I would suspect the cost to produce them are fairly nominal to insignificant in the overall cost structure of your Airlines. Consumer behavior in the Airline industry, as in most service oriented industries, I would expect is typically based upon convenience (availability of flights in your case), price and service. So while there may be some, I do not believe there are an appreciable number of customers that have chosen not to fly with Alaska because of the prayer cards or that fly the airline because of them. I am of the same or similar opinion with this decision to eliminate the prayer cards. You will likely not see an appreciable increase in the number of passengers that choose Alaska because of the prayer cards nor those that will no longer fly the airline because of their removal. Any impact there would be is likely negligible and would offset one another. So I do not see this as an economically driven decision.

To be completely honest with you, I was surprised and impressed the first time I saw them in 1995. In a time of political correctness, I was surprised and impressed to find a private sector, non-religious entity with the courage to stand upon and publicly display their commitment to Godly principles. At first I thought it was something that was temporary or a promotional activity. As my travels with the airlines increased and I continued to receive them I realized this was not a mere Marketing scheme, but the airline was truly committed to values derived from Biblically based principles. I always found the cards to be tastefully presented, not an over the top or in your face offensive attack upon the religious or moral values of anyone. They were simply positive, motivating and inspirational Psalms as I recall. How refreshing!

Now, I can appreciate that there are many travelers with Alaska Airlines of varying religious backgrounds and affiliations. I can also imagine that some of those passengers filed complaints with the airlines about the prayer cards. After having received enough of these complaints, I’m sure you were compelled to give consideration to discontinuing the practice. I am saddened to see that in an effort to be inclusive and considerate of alternative views, that Alaska Airlines has acquiesced and abandoned a 30 year tradition that spoke as much about the Airlines and its values as it did about broader American ideals. I would have preferred to see Alaska take the courageous position, though perhaps not the most popular one, and stand behind this simple and tasteful expression of the basis of their values.

Now, my entire position, I must admit, presupposes the prayer cards are truly more than a 30 year old Marketing scheme that has run its course and that they truly reflect something more intrinsic about Alaska. If I am in error, then I have little objection to the removal of the prayer cards. However, if the premise of my thoughts are sound, though Alaska Airlines may not be defined entirely by the prayer cards, pressure from a minority of society should not be profound or leveraging enough to manipulate this change.

As I stated earlier, I do not anticipate my note will alter the course that was made public today. Nor do I anticipate it will have a material impact on my travel decisions as they are derived, like most consumers, based upon the criteria I shared earlier. However, something that once differentiated Alaska from other airlines in my mind is now gone and it has, in many degrees, truly become fungible. Fortunately for me, I will be travelling First Class on the eve of January 31^st, just in time to hopefully receive one of the very last pieces of Alaska Airlines history that carried value for at least one of its most traveled patrons.

My sincerest thoughts and prayers will be with each of you and Alaska Airlines as you, along with many other American organizations, navigate the onslaught of attacks waged upon your values. All the best…

Original e-mail from Alaska Airlines CEO Bill Ayer & President Brad Tilden

Dear Michael, At Alaska Airlines, we have provided prayer cards to our customers for more than 30 years. A former marketing executive borrowed the idea from another airline and introduced the cards to our passengers in the late 1970s to differentiate our service. The cards have been provided only to our First Class customers since meal tray service ended in coach six years ago. Beginning February 1, 2012, however, we'll be eliminating the cards entirely. This difficult decision was not made lightly. We believe it's the right thing to do in order to respect the diverse religious beliefs and cultural attitudes of all our customers and employees. Some of you enjoy the cards and associate them with our service. We also know some of you consider the cards to be a tradition that reflects your own spiritual beliefs. At the same time, we've heard from many of you who believe religion is inappropriate on an airplane, and some are offended when we hand out the cards. Religious beliefs are deeply personal and sharing them with others is an individual choice. It's important that everyone know that this decision does not change our core values nor our care for our customers. We'll continue to distinguish ourselves through the pride and professionalism of our people on every flight and in our communities. Our priority at Alaska is to fly our passengers to their destinations safely, on time and with their bags. We thank you for the opportunity to serve you and for the chance to demonstrate this commitment each time you fly with us. Sincerely,

Bill Ayer Chairman and CEO, Alaska Air Group Brad Tilden President, Alaska Airlines

The Power of Words

For many of us, since the early days of our youth, especially around the time we started Elementary or Grade school, we were taught that words could not hurt us. In fact most, if not all, of us can recite the nursery rhyme that helped to cement this point into our impressionable minds;

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

We were taught this idea, usually in response to the often cruel and malicious attacks levied by children towards one another. It was an effort to help the victims of this cruelty keep from continuing to wallow in the hurt they were already experiencing.

And in fact they are correct… to a point. The weight of words carries very little force at all. In fact, the substance of words struggles to blow out candles on birthdays and aroma therapy candles around bathtubs. In an absolute sense, words do not have the physical capabilities or characteristics to do us any physical harm. They certainly do not possess the strength or destructive force to kill us.

However, that being said, words are certainly a powerful force in the universe and arguably the most powerful natural force found in humanity. The power of words is not found in their physical characteristics, but in their ability to influence humanity to act! Words are so powerful, they can inspire us either positively or negatively.

I am not alone in my assertions on the power of words. Solomon shares this nugget of wisdom with us in Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”. Note that both death and life, negative and positive outcomes, can be influenced by the words we speak. With the words that we share we have the ability to build up or tear down, to inspire or to denigrate, to motivate or to discourage. The choice is ours.

This is about more than being an optimist or a pessimist, a cup half full or a cup half empty person. Our words have the power to reshape the lives of those we speak them to, either for better or for worse. It’s fine if we choose to be pessimistic with our own lives, but when we allow that pessimism to influence others through the words we speak into their lives, we become a destructive and in the extreme a deadly force.

How many dreams, ambitions and hopes have been summarily executed by the firing squad of discouraging, depressing and damnable words? What about the confidence, esteem and sense of worth that were ruthlessly assassinated by demeaning, dispiriting and disheartening words. Our communities, families and churches are littered with corpses that have been laid waste by words.

Relationships have been slaughtered because of what someone said, or what someone said someone said. Marriages massacred by the hateful words shared in moments of anger, anguish and anxiety. Pastors murdered by their congregations because of the divisive words of the divisive in their midst. Yes, I’m afraid Solomon was true in his assertion that both death and life are in the power of the tongue. But, why is this? Why are words so often destructive? Why does Solomon say Death and then Life are in the power of the tongue? Why death first? Is there any significance to the presumptive order? I believe there is.

The New Testament writer James, perhaps more than any other biblical author speaks to the nature of words and their motivation. In the 3^rd chapter of his epistle, James describes the tongue of humanity as a fire, a world of iniquity, a source of defilement for the body, unruly, untamable member of our bodies and filled with poison. (James 3:5, 6, 8) Think about it this way, our tongue… the words we choose to express… often come from undisciplined, uncensored and unforgiving mouths. James calls it unbridled tongues in 1:26.

In other words, we often speak out of our frustration, disappointment or anger and say destructive things. Once those words have left the barn of our mouths, they can never be corralled. As I like to say, that shipped has sailed! How many fights have been started because someone got angry or frustrated and blurted out something unfiltered? And no we cannot blame it on Tourette’s syndrome either… at least most of us don’t have that excuse. How many wars fought because of some despot leader’s uncontrollable rage superseded their better judgment?

Our kids do something that frustrates or angers us and before we could think, those damnable and destructive words raced from our lips and into the ears. Too late to take them back now. Our spouse, whether intentionally or unintentionally, depresses our fire ignition button and all hades breaks forth from our mouth. Who would have thought such words could be heralded towards the same one we said we would love, cherish, honor, etc., etc., etc.

That’s how it happens and all too often, that’s how it happens FIRST! The negativity and destructive force of our tongue is unleashed upon the world, leaving in its wake a trail of lives, confidence, esteem, relationships, etc. all slain by its hand.

But before we are filled with despair, alas there is hope. Not only do we find that death is in the power of the tongue, so also is life! And though death may have come first, we do not end with death, rather we end with Life! I love this about the power of words. Though death may have been brought to us in the beginning by words, it can be overcome with words and result in life…and that more abundantly! (John 10:10)

If we were to look at the intent of words, they were never intended to destroy, they were always intended to build and create. In the beginning God used His words to create. (Genesis 1, 2) The serpent then came and used words to bring about destruction and death. (Genesis 3) You will also note that God declared that what he created with His word was good.

But God always gets the last word… if we allow Him. Though the serpent will bruise the heal of God’s redeemer… referencing the crucifixion of Christ… His redeemer will bruise the head of the serpent… referencing the eternal judgment and damnation of Satan. (Genesis 3:15) God gets the last word, not Satan… good, not evil if we let Him. And take special note of this fact as well, the redeemer of God was also brought to life by God’s word (John 1:1 – 14). Want to talk about the power of words!

There is a valuable lesson to be learned from this. Whenever words are used destructively, we know they are derived from an evil source. Conversely, whenever words are used constructively, we know they come from a heavenly source. This holds true even when we are the ones sharing the words. If we allow ourselves to get worked up and speak negative and destructively, we are allowing ourselves to be manipulated by ungodly influences. Contrast that with speaking positively or from God’s word in the face of frustration. Exercising discretion and control of our tongue speaks to the power of God through His Holy Spirit at work in our lives. (Acts 1:8)

God framed the world with the creative and life giving power of words and in a sense so can we. Imagine what our children will become if every word spoken into their impressionable lives were life giving? Or how our marriages would be if all we had to say to one another inspired life and creativity. What if in our churches we consumed ourselves with learning and expressing a vocabulary replete with virtue, healing, love, compassion, sensitivity, forgiveness, empowerment, faithfulness, loyalty, dedication and the like.

Yes, death and life are in the power of the tongue, but I choose to speak words that bring forth life. This is a power that we all have and can readily exercise.

There is one other element to the power of words that I would like to touch on for just a bit and that is the power to influence the thoughts and actions of others. This is, in part at least, one of the reasons I believe I was called into the Pastorate. Every week I am given an opportunity to speak words that have the potential to influence the thoughts and behaviors of those that choose to listen. Whether I’m speaking from a pulpit or in personal advising meetings, the ability to influence is the same.

This is a powerful position of influence that I and others of this calling have been granted and one that I do not take lightly. Every time I step behind that sacred desk of the pulpit I am reminded that every word that proceeds from my mouth can have a life changing or profound influence upon someone’s life. Decisions and choices related to life and relationships are often shaped, in part at least, by the words that I have been inspired to share. What a humbling and intimidating position to be in. Selah.

While it can be unsettling at times, I relish the challenge of being led and finding the perfect words to express that will help move people closer to God and each other. I believe there is a combination of words, if expressed properly and at the right time that can move anyone under any circumstances in the right direction. We do not always find that right combination of words, but I do believe they nevertheless exist.

This, I believe, is the power of words. The ability to find the right combination of vowels and consonants that will influence the thoughts, decisions and actions of humanity. This power can be used to draw people into battles or guide them towards reconciliation. This is the power of the pulpit. The use of God inspired words to draw people towards reconciliation with Him and each other.

Some with this gift of oratory will undoubtedly use it for less than honorable purposes. However, for me, I have determined to use this gift to the best of my ability to inspire those that read and listen to my words to achieve their created best. To empower them in thought and deed to live up to the noble calling of their creator. To eradicate and bring about the demise of destructive negativity, with the creative and life giving breath whose genesis is found in the heavens.

The power of words? That you might have life and that you might have it more abundantly.

Social Services

What responsibility should society and government have in providing resources and assistance to its constituents? How much should government sponsored, citizen funded social support programs and products such as food stamps (EBT), Section 8, Unemployment benefits, government sponsored health care, etc. be available and to whom? Are we entitled to these benefits? Do we have a right as citizens of America to expect access to these services?

Let’s establish a couple of foundational understandings up front before I share my thoughts and opinion on this subject. First, Government is funded by its citizens… always has been and always will be. The revenue or income that the government receives is from the taxes it imposes upon its citizens. Very rarely will you find a government with access to natural resources, goods and/or services that it can take to market and generate enough revenue to sustain itself. By and large, governments obtain their financial resources by the taxes paid by its citizens.

Secondly, there is no such thing as a free lunch…somebody is paying for it. Every time something is “given away”, someone actually paid for it. Buy one get one free…not really… you paid the price for both of them. Get a free whatever, when you sign up for whatever program…not really… you are paying for whatever was free through the services you pay for. Someone give you something with no strings attached, so it’s free…not really… whoever gave it to you paid for it. The examples are endless; somebody is paying for what you think is free. Sometime it’s you paying for it, sometimes it someone else. But in the end, nothing is free, someone is paying the price. Oh, that free lunch… it was paid for by tax paying citizens.

Whenever, the government provides a benefit or service to someone, it is the citizens of that government that pays for it. The taxes paid by the citizens of America are what are funding the various and sundry social services programs that many enjoy. So just because the beneficiary of the social services isn’t footing the bill doesn’t mean it’s free… someone is paying for it!

This is where the first of many rubs I have come into play. Many, though not all, people that are receiving the benefit do not appreciate that someone else is financing their social benefit. It is lost on many of their consciences that what they are getting is not free, hard-working and often times struggling families that pay their taxes are providing the financial resources used to fund the social services their receiving.

I am not opposed to social services support for families and individuals that need them. (I will touch on this too in just a bit) But those receiving the benefits, should appreciate those who are providing them by respecting and not abusing their benefits. Use the benefits for their intended purposes and not more than you need. It is selfish for beneficiaries to abuse the programs and take away resources from others who may genuinely need them or needlessly extract resources from those funding these programs that could otherwise be used for their own families.

This brings me to my next rub, who is receiving the benefits. It irks me to no end to see well abled bodied individuals receiving disability payments. They seemingly are all jacked up when it comes time to be evaluated, but remarkably recover when they want to do something or go somewhere with friends or family. Are you kidding me! Or those who are receiving unemployment benefits because they can’t find a job, but they only apply for jobs they know they are very unlikely to get. C’mon! To add insult to injury, many receive multiple benefits when they shouldn’t receive any.

Those receiving benefits should be restricted to those that really need them. If someone has a legitimate and debilitating mental or physical disability that limits or prohibits their ability to provide for themself, these are the individuals that our society should support with social services. These individuals should not have to live in poverty. They should be afforded a standard of living that keeps their dignity intact and demonstrates a value for their humanity. There are some that have been afflicted with a mental or physical illness that limits their income earning potential, but they can contribute to society and earn some income. I support in these cases subsidizing their income and benefits so again they can live at an acceptable standard of living. In many cases these individuals demonstrate more courage, strength and Christian ethics than do others more capable and less willing.

In other cases, there may be a need for short term or limited support. If you are injured, your benefits should be limited to the time it takes you to recover from your injury. If you are the unfortunate casualty of an economic downturn, you should receive limited benefits for a limited time. I don’t think it’s beneficial for an individual or family to be financially ruined or destitute because of a short lived situation. Because someone lost their job, they shouldn’t lose their home, etc. simply because it took them a month or two to find another job. Sure, we should have cash reserves, an emergency fund, etc. But we should also have access to short term support from the funds we contribute in our taxes to benefit others.

I do believe however, that we must accept responsibility and be accountable for the situations we find ourselves in. For example, if we unexpectedly have an event which creates a financial hardship that we were not financially prepared for, we have to take ownership of the consequences of not being prepared. And while we may receive some social benefits, we also have an obligation to adjust our lifestyle accordingly. Eating out may be a privilege we can no longer afford. Shopping at Thrift or other second hand stores may have to replace department stores and the mall.

I am a proponent of limited benefits, both in terms of time and value. I do not support giving benefits indefinitely, with very few exceptions. Nor do I support providing benefits beyond what is necessary to provide for life essentials. It is insulting to the tax payer to have those benefiting from their tax contributions, eating and living a standard of life better than what they can afford. That just doesn’t make sense to me. How can someone who is in need of assistance afford to eat and live better than those busting their rumps to take care of their responsibilities?

I firmly believe when you take away or limit safety nets, people behave more prudently or cautiously. The quality of decisions improves when we realize we are going to have to live with the full force of the outcomes of those decisions. People will not be a flipped about their jobs or do things that may result in their termination if they realize the loss of the job may not be subsidized as much as they would like through unemployment benefits. Financial discretion will improve if people realize they are not going to get cash benefits for as long as they hoped if faced with an unforeseen event.

Social services are there to be a bridge of sorts over troubled water. There are going to be times and circumstances in people’s lives where they may be in need of assistance for a short time. That can be because of an unexpected loss in the family of a primary income earner, economic downturn resulting in lost or reduced employment, an illness or injury that restricts the ability to earn an income, etc. It is not intended to be a surrogate for working and doing what’s necessary to provide for yourself or your family. Sadly, for many this is precisely what it has become. Instead of working or pursuing entrepreneurial interest, they have chosen to manipulate the system to gain access to benefits that they do not need.

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should. Just because you can get or qualify for benefits doesn’t mean that you should. It is impossible for any government to filter perfectly every request for benefits it receives. In spite of their best efforts, there are going to be loop holes on both sides. There are going to be some who should qualify that don’t and there are going to be some who do qualify that shouldn’t.

Again, let me reiterate, I am not opposed to social services programs, what I am opposed to is the wanton abuse that takes place by those leeching benefits that they do not need. I find it especially distasteful when Christians are included in those that are leeching the system for benefits they should not qualify to receive. You discredit yourself, your faith and your God when you behave and carry yourself in such a desperate and lazy fashion.

It doesn’t matter what justifications are offered, the simple fact is that if you can take care of yourself, then you should! Some people feel that because they are a minority and their ancestors suffered through slavery and other egregious forms of mistreatment that somehow they are owed or entitled something by the government. Others buy into conspiracy theories and believe they are somehow being oppressed by “the man” (whoever that is) and that manipulating social services is the only way they can make it. Still there are others that are flat out lazy and simply don’t want to work.

Sad but true, churches across the country are filled with people who have rationalized or justified in their minds why they should take what someone else has earned and benefit from it. They testify about it proudly during church services. They laughingly share tips and tricks with others either already engaged in this unethical behavior or even worse try to entice and lure others in. They run, shout, sing, etc. oblivious to the shame they bring to themselves, their faith and our God.

Instead of celebrating this condition, we should educate our congregations and inspire them to higher and better attainment in their lives. The Christian ethic requires us to contribute to the benefit of our society and community. We should not look to take, but to give. If we do not provide for our families when we are able to do so, we are worse than non-believers. If we do not contribute to our society and communities, then we shouldn’t benefit from them either.

As Christians, we should be leading the charge and setting the example for society to follow. We should be of the greatest personal integrity and character. If we find ourselves in need of social assistance, we should be busting our tails to get off of it and back on our own feet. God has given us everything that we need to succeed in life, including favor with man when we need it. We should have a sense of personal and Spiritual pride knowing that we are contributing to the betterment of society and are not the source of its draining.

Our children, neighbors, co-workers, fellow Christians, etc. should witness our work ethic and be inspired to emulate what they see and admire in us. And we should not encourage, justify or support in any way those we know are capable of more or better and are choosing not to do so. It is not good for them or for the faith.

Christians should not be dependent on government for their subsistence. To whomever you are dependent is to whom you have relinquished control of your life. If you are dependent upon government, you have handed over control of your life to the government. If you depend upon another person, that person can control and manipulate you through the support they provide that you are dependent upon.

For the Christian, we should only be dependent upon God to provide all that we need in life. This does not abdicate us from our responsibility to be responsible and handle our business. We must do all that we can to take care of ourselves and our families, but in the end accept that after we have done all we can, instead of turning to government, family or other people, God will be sure we get access to what we need. Truth of the matter is that if we truly do all we can and utilize what God has already provided or imparted in our lives, we will have very few if any occasions to have to reach out to anyone or anything else.

We can and should do better. Let’s make it a point to blaze the trail and get off the governments social services and onto our own two feet the way God intended!

What ever happened to being polite

What ever happened to being polite, courteous, kind, and friendly? Since when has being rude and obnoxious become vogue and the in thing? I am absolutely amazed and appalled at how inconsiderate, insensitive and callous so many people have become. And what’s worse is many of them somehow find their behavior funny and don’t care how those impacted by their comments are made to feel. Since when is getting a cheap laugh by insulting someone now socially acceptable behavior?

A lot of people like to kid around and make jokes about other people. Often the jokes are about things that a person cannot change about themselves like a physical feature. I’m all for having fun and laughing, but not at others expense. And far too often, even if the joking is consensual between friends, those that regularly engage in this kind of foolish jesting usually don’t know how to turn it off. So they are insensitive and callous in their remarks and attitudes towards those with whom they don’t have the implied consent to tease.

What does talking about people really accomplish other than creating unnecessary drama, hurt feelings and spreading negativity? And will someone please explain to me how talking negatively about someone to their face is somehow better than talking about them behind their back? As if the comments hurled with destructive intent, is better when delivered directly to the source of the venom (in their face), than for it to ultimately get back to them after having circulated through the community of nay sayers and gossip taxis (behind their back). Like, because they were the source, that softens the blow of their self-righteous opinionated comments? I don’t get it?!

Oh and of course those that proliferate this sort of thing are your loudest and most visceral “Christians”. What kind of witness is that? So is that what Christianity has become? Groups of selfish, condescending, judgmental, ever critical circle of social self-appointed elites, who have been issued a self-generated mandate to critique, evaluate and comment on all things societal? Give me a break! I happen to know Christians are far better than that and that many times it’s just a few immature and unchallenged of us that leave that impression for those outside of our community. What a shame… we are so much better than that!

Too many of us however, are truly selfish and self-centered, only thinking about what’s in it for me and rarely, if ever, giving thought to anyone else. Our Country’s financial debt problem is just one of the many examples of this me first, me only mentality. We have incurred so much debt as a country because we want everything now and who cares about future generations or the next group of politicians that has to take over and deal with this mess. Republican, Democrat, Independent, Tea Party, etc. it doesn’t matter; all of us share some culpability. Either because of our direct participation and contributions to the debt crisis or because of our wanton neglect and silence in the matter. We should demand better of ourselves and our fellow countrymen.

Because of our selfishness and unwillingness to exercise discipline and curtail our spending we are creating and making worse a financial crisis that will be passed on to our children and grandchildren. Instead of leaving them with an inheritance and positioning them to be burden free to live lives greater than our own, we are spending and living lavishly at their expense. A reverse inheritance of sorts. We are better than this!

Many of us have fallen into the trap of self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish attitudes which manifests itself in the way we conduct ourselves. Simple tasks like walking in crowded places, how often do you see people cut someone off or just bow guard their way through the crowd without regard for others or even giving a courteous “pardon me”? Certainly, there may be times when aggression and assertiveness are appropriate, but was any consideration given to the others in the crowd?

Two people arrive at a parking spot at the same time; is there ever preference given to the stranger in the other car? Or are we always the one in the hurry without time to show some kindness? Have we become that weak, that we can’t walk the extra few feet it will cost us to be courteous to the other driver? Ever notice those drivers, that when they see someone turn on their turn signal, they speed up to make them merge into the line behind them? Are we that unorganized and unprepared that we cannot afford those few mille-seconds to show kindness?

How about holding the door open and waiting until the person coming in the door behind you makes it through the door before you let it close or are you oblivious to anyone else and just let the door close behind you and in the face of the other patron. I guess you wouldn’t know would you? You are oblivious to anyone other than yourself. The examples of insensitive selfishness are limitless and unfortunately abound in our current society.

Lost in all of this is the fact that the individual we were being rude, insensitive and callous to is a potential soul for the Kingdom. Our offensive behavior has the potential of compromising our ability to witness and win someone to the faith. How tragic it would be if the difference between someone being saved and lost was how we treated them in that chance encounter we had with them in a parking lot, grocery store, doctors office… church bathroom! I don’t believe God would allow something that trivial to stand in the way of something that significant, He would find another more suitable source. However, I do believe we will be held accountable for how we treat people.

I really feel for those who work in the service industry (restaurants, retail, flight attendants, call center reps, etc.) and have to interact with the general public…OMG! People can be flat out rude and nasty! It’s ridiculous how some people treat those in the service industry and then have the audacity to think they have that right. And never mind the golden rule; God forbid that they would be treated and talked to in the same manner in which they treat and talk to others. It would be a full on, knock-down, drag out ending in a flurry of ugliness.

True, I’ve seen it on both sides from customers and employees and there is no excuse for either. But if you have ever worked as a service employee you know the verbal abuse endured by many of these individuals and the onslaught of insults that are far too often hurled at them. They are called everything from stupid to thieves to expletives unfit for me to quote here. That just isn’t right under any circumstances.

I make it a point to try to be as polite and kind to people as I can. Especially to those in service industries, but it is generally just the way I choose to carry myself. I give thought and consideration to other people. I want to be the bright spot in their day. When they have an interaction with me, I want them to walk away from that experience in a better mood, better frame of mind, with a better attitude than before our paths crossed. Bitterness, maliciousness, chronic cynicism and the like have no place in my life.

That is the example I see in Jesus more often than not. Sure, there was the occasion when He had to turn over tables, rebuke someone or call people out. But you will take note that was when those He interacted with were rude, belligerent, condescending and simply not nice people.

For the most part, Jesus was a friendly sort of guy. Children loved Him. Those who messed up found compassionate consideration with Him. People generally wanted to just hang around Jesus… I think a lot of that was because He was a nice guy. I’m sure there were some that were looking for something from Him, but those were the exception and not the rule. And so what if they were looking for something from Him. Jesus wasn’t rude to them, even when He spoke the truth about their motives for hanging around. You can speak the truth without being rude and in fact we are instructed in the Bible to speak the truth in love.

I try to offer a hand when I can. It’s not always the big things either. In fact more often than not it’s the little things that make the big difference. As a passenger on the plane, I will often offer to hold the bag that has all of the props the flight attendants use for their safety demonstrations. I don’t have to do that and they almost never ask. And honestly, they shouldn’t have to. I see that it would help them and I’m in a position to do it, so I volunteer. That little assistance can have a large impact.

If someone drops something, I bend over and pick it up for them and hand it to them. Not because I have to, but because it will help them. And I don’t have to wait until they ask. If I see they can use a hand, and I have a hand that they can use, I offer it. That’s just common courtesy and kindness…not so common I’m afraid.

These little selfless acts demonstrate kindness and consideration for others. How about saying “Thank you” when someone does something for you instead of sitting there with an entitlement attitude of “I paid for it, that’s what they’re supposed to do”. That’s just being polite. Or how about an “excuse me” if you accidently bump into someone, instead of looking at them crazy as if it is their fault and making a scene. And who cares if it is their fault, why not just say excuse me anyway and smile it away… No harm, no foul. Why is it so important to prove it was their fault and giving them attitude for it? That’s just rude!

We are taught in scripture to be kind and to look for opportunities to be helpful and do good things for people, especially to those of like faith. I applaud those of us who take this admonishment seriously and proactively look for opportunities to do good for someone else. Without the need for recognition or looking for some personal benefit to come back to you. But simply because it was the right thing to do and it would help someone else. Kudos to you… keep it up!

These are true acts of charity. The sort of which I hope to see more of in the world and resonating from our churches. Instead of laughing at someone’s crude behavior, how about a stern rebuke and an admonishment that we can and should be better than that. I am always overjoyed when I see kindness and consideration prevail amongst those of the faith. I am especially pleased when I see someone demonstrate meekness and continue to show kindness even when they are wronged. What a sign of spiritual strength, confidence and maturity to be able to behave that way.

We should be confronted and challenged to eradicate the nastiness from our mouths and behavior in general and bound forward with humility, grace and class by showing kindness, care and consideration for one another. Time out for insults, insensitivity and callousness. Those who are determined to continue with this kind of unacceptable behavior should be made to feel as if their behavior is unacceptable and need to know it will not tolerated. It’s not cute, it’s not funny and it’s not going to be tolerated. We are better than that!

As an alternative, what if we strived to be low maintenance, easy to please, the source of help and encouragement? We would instantly become more of a pleasure to be around and bring more pleasure to those around us. Stop frowning at people, smile! Try having a nice genuine smile and saying something polite or kind in small talk while waiting in a line.

What if we preferred others to benefit over ourselves? What if we let someone else get the better seat, the closer parking spot, that spot in front of us in line? What do you think the outcome would be if we were understanding towards someone who made a mistake or gracious in our times of victory?

Try being nice, no matter what and keep that smile on your face. Some people have a way of just brightening up a room the moment they enter in. One of the Alaska Airlines flight attendants working my flight from Honolulu to Seattle named Tracie is that way. From the moment she came into view in the boarding area and throughout our entire flight, she has been nothing but a warm, genuine smile offering soft spoken words of kindness, reinforced with unsolicited gestures of thoughtfulness. I don’t know if she is a Christian, but I do know she carries herself in much the way I would like to see more Christians carry themselves.

What a great example Tracie is setting for all of those she encounters; from her co-workers to her family to her passengers. You can’t help but notice how nice, friendly and polite she is and it have some positive effect on you. We all have an opportunity to set such an example and impart into the lives of others. Instead of encouraging the proliferation of callousness through our affirmations of insensitivity, let’s be role models of kind-heartedness by our dogged determination to bring joy and pleasant experiences to humanity.

So with this blog post, I aim to challenge, confront and otherwise inspire you to be better and to demand better of those around you. Refuse to be the source of mean spirited nastiness and don’t tolerate that sort of behavior in your circles of influence. Make it a point to proactively look for opportunities to be polite, nice, kind, gracious, friendly towards those around you. In doing so, you will make your community an improved place.